I want you to see me
First a short synopsis: In the movie Avatar, a marine is sent to live with a group of aborigines (it’s way more sci-fi than that, but that’s the core of it). While living with them, he learns that they see every living being as connected. I don’t mean connected in some abstract way, but in a direct and meaningful way. So when he kills prey to eat, it isn’t just an animal that is being killed – it is also part of him. Not incidentally, the way these natives say, “I love you,” is by saying, “I see you.”
There is a LOT of emphasis on the word “see.”
You can probably tell, from the title, where this post is headed. But let me pick up another diverse thread.
As far back as Plato (and probably further) there has been a conceptualization of the universe as being comprised of two realms. The first is the one in which we live – Plato called it a world of shadows, or shades. When we look at a table, we see a table – but it is not truly a table that we perceive. It is simply the shadow of what a table really is – it is the shade of an idea version of a table. The true archetype of all things exists in what Plato refers to as a world of Forms.
Greek philosophy isn’t really my forte, so I don’t want to go too deeply into that, but I want to borrow that idea and marry it to the Avatar example. There is, for each of us, an external person that the world sees. Maybe we are tall or short; fat or skinny, hairy or bald. But the world looks at us and see the same reflection we see in the mirror. That, however, is not the real us.
To truly see us, someone must know us. They must be connected to us in a direct fashion. It isn’t that they don’t see our flaws – that is simply a method of denial about who we are. It’s that they see our flaws, and see that those flaws simply cover what lies beneath. When they see us, they see our Form. They know who we truly are.
Mistress Delila sees me. She knows my Form. And She treasures it/me.
There is a feeling for the…relief of being truly seen and loved/treasured. It is a humbling and heart-warming feeling. It is so intense that it is terrifying. If I’d never felt it; then I’d never know it even existed; yet now that I do, I would do anything and everything to never have it taken away.
The last time Mistress Delila and I were together, I ended up crying in Her arms. I couldn’t explain why, I just exclaimed, “Don’t take it away from me!”
This is what I meant, Mistress. Please, don’t ever stop seeing me.
Approval given by Mistress Delila