Masculine Submission

No greater love has a man than to live his life for the one he loves

Male beauty and the green eyed monster

A few days ago, a lingerie catalog arrived in the mail. Being an admirer of feminine beauty, I flipped through it. Some of it was simply trashy, but sometimes some people like trashy sex. Some of it was rather elegant. Some of it looked downright uncomfortable, but it drew the eye to specific areas on the model’s body. There was even a section for plus-size women (what I like to refer to as “actual women”), and each of the models looked fabulous and desirable.

Then I got to the “men’s section.” It consisted almost entirely of high cut thong underwear, and often had some sort of “pouch” cut that was obviously made to accentuate the perceived size of the guy’s dick. Given how often I have heard women say that they really don’t care about the size of a guy’s dick, this made me wonder about the whole idea of “male lingerie.” So I sent out a few questions on Twitter.

The first answers I received were from guys…which was odd, since I had specifically asked for “women” to answer the question. The answers from the guys quickly moved to comedy – which is how a lot of Twitter goes. But I think it also reveals a bit of discomfort in guys talking about their own beauty. After all, most of us aren’t models, we don’t all have rock solid six-packs or arms of steel. When it comes to describing what women find sexy about us, in particular, isn’t easy. It’s tough because there just aren’t many alternate models for male beauty (a problem shared by women), and it’s pretty easy to see where we don’t measure up (also a problem shared by women).

As far as I can tell, the point of lingerie is to remind a woman’s partner that she is desirable. It accentuates the sexy parts (breasts, hips, and/or thighs are the socially acceptable target spots) and hides the (perceived) flaws. The purpose of lingerie is to make a man want to have sex with a woman. To some extent, all fashion does this, but lingerie is set aside for intimate relationships.

So what is the male equivalent? One answer I received was a pair of black linen pants and no shoes or shirt (have to remember to order that). Also offered were silk boxers, jeans, and…

Well, it seemed like it was a difficult question for even the women to answer. Several women pointed out that what “sexy” is depends a lot on context – not only where and when, but on whom and on comfort level. The upshot of this is that there isn’t, as far as I can tell, a class of clothing for men that is designed entirely to make them appealing to their partner. I guess it says something about society that lingerie for women is so widespread and accepted, but the category doesn’t exist for men. I will admit, I am somewhat jealous about this – after all, if I wanted to inspire lust in Mistress Delila, wouldn’t it be great to have a catalog of options?

I think this results in male beauty being somewhat enigmatic. We know that (some) women like muscled arms and shoulders, six-pack abs, a firm butt, and, of course, a sense of humor (this last one is why Don Knotts was such a sex symbol, right?). But I don’t think six men out of ten could explain why their partner finds them sexy, and even fewer could do it without making a joke out of the question.

So this is what I would like to ask any women who care to comment: If you came out of the bathroom and found your partner had put on the one outfit that just made you want to immediately push him to the floor and devour him; what would it be?

The question for any guy who cares to comment is this: What body parts would you accentuate to make your partner (present or past) push you down and devour you? What clothing would you use to pull that off?

If you need help thinking, try Ferns amazing slideshow of male beauty.

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11 thoughts on “Male beauty and the green eyed monster

  1. I think part of the problem that creates this situation is that women are ‘supposed’ to be sexualized and men aren’t. Factor in that folks with vaginas have really obvious sex characteristics, which are easy to draw attention to, and you have a recipe for easy to create/id sexy clothing. The only ‘obvious’ sex characteristic for people with penises is… the penis. Which is not something clothing can easily draw attention to unless you want to go really old fashioned and wear a codpiece. (And yes, I know hetero women who would love to see their men in a codpiece.)

    For me, I can’t think of an outfit that would make me immediately jump on my partner, but I love hair and butts. So it my partner took the time to do something with his hair and some tight panties or boxers or briefs or whatever that really drew attention to the curves of his ass… well let’s say that would make me really happy.

  2. For me, “sexy on a man” is more about the fit of the clothing than any particular category of clothing. It was a fun shopping trip (for me at least!) to take Naga to find the right cut of casual pants to wear for day-to-day. He had the habit of finding a cheap pair that fit (even if they didn’t look great), then buying 8 of them in his size, then just waiting for all of them to wear out. We’ve since found a cut that makes his ass look absolutely lovely. I don’t know that they, on their own, would be enough to make me jump him. But they certainly set the right tone for that to happen. Now we’ve just got to work on getting him in all the right workout pants…

    Also for me, being well-groomed is a big deal. Hair and/or beard that is trimmed and neatly kept, nails clean and trimmed.

  3. I agree most males couldn’t identify what it is their partner finds sexy about them, and would laugh the question off. We just weren’t ‘brought up’ to be the target of desire, just the source. I absolutely love it, but I’m still slightly unsettled when I get the look from Lady Pagan that communicates lust.

    You touched on it lightly, but would you also put male cosmetics, and to a lesser extent, hairstyles in this ‘no man’s land’?

    • I have no idea about cosmetics. I honestly didn’t know that guys (outside of show business) were wearing cosmetics these days.

      Hairstyles is a great add-on, though. I know guys who primp their hair more than most women. But it’s supposed to look like they don’t care, you know. I shave my head, so that’s something I don’t have to worry about much.

  4. I’m with Jalan – well kept, groomed, however you put it – is huge. When PB dresses for special meetings, he looks terrific. I love the look of broad shoulders in a suit coat. But….

    Clothes – or lack of them – just are not what drives me. It’s a look in his eye, a certain smile or the touch on the back of my neck, or a shiver. It’s not that I’m not visual – I am, very – but eye candy is merely amusement, not something that stirs me in any serious way.

    And if others feel the way I do, that might be where the lack of response came from?

    • I think the lack of response was just a symptom of it being a deceptively complex question for women to answer. I thought it was a rather simple question, so I was a bit baffled by the “well, it depends” kind of answers I received.

      I am sort of wondering if this is just a difference between what or how men and women see each other. That, in turn, makes me wonder if it is simply a natural difference or if it something we are taught.

      But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

  5. Suits, holy crap, suits. Or a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbows. (I am going to have a serious problem when I start having office jobs in a few years, huh?) Also, jeans with no shirt. I’ve heard female friends and peers corroborate these often as well.

    As for a literal interpretation of “men’s lingerie,” I see no reason why stuff like this can’t become a more widespread thing: I think lace on men is beautiful. It seems like we as a culture have no idea how to appreciate male bodies, and a rather narrow idea of how to appreciate female ones, which is a real shame. Everyone ought to have the chance to be desired if they so choose!

  6. MsNaydi on said:

    I love to see a man in a low slung towel…or a low slung, half opened pair of jeans…anything really that lets me imagine what is at the end of that happy trail, or the top of their ass, when looking from behind. I guess I like the idea that at any second, the clothing might drop and I will get the full Monty! (And now that I think about it…this applies to ALL men!)

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