*Standard kink disclaimer: This is how I do and think of things. If it’s different for you, and if you enjoy it; then you are doing it right. Variety is the spice of life, and it’s a spicy world.*
In my last post, I made an extended reference to eating semen, and I promised I would come back (no pun intended) to discuss it at length. I didn’t really think it would be this quickly, but an online discussion led me to think about it, and I do my best thinking while writing. So here goes.
First of all, the actual “proper” name for it is “felching” – which is an ugly sounding word. But felching is a completely made-up word, so I feel no compulsion to use it. I call it “eating my own cum” or simply “cleaning up after myself.” I called it “cleaning privileges” in the title of this post because I honestly feel like it is a privilege to do this for Mistress Delila.
It isn’t humiliating. It isn’t disgusting. It’s just…a very intimate and personal service. Look, I don’t know about any other guy, but my semen doesn’t magically disappear. If I am allowed to cum inside of Mistress Delila, it will leak out and (if I weren’t cleaning it up) then She would either lay there with an uncomfortable gel drying on Her thighs or dripping onto the sheets, where it would form a wet spot that just isn’t sexy. The alternative is that She would get out of bed, breaking the wonderful post-coital connection we share, and go to the bathroom to clean Herself. Or She could keep Kleenex (or baby wipes) by the bed, and still have to get up to throw it away (because She is not going to leave it to dry on the bed-side table).
So I know, without having to be told, that I am expected to render this cleaning service. I do, however, ask permission, because I am not allowed to initiate sexual activity of any kind without Her permission. What would be either a slightly uncomfortable mess or a break of intimacy becomes an extension of our love-making. In part, because I have to have permission, it is also a reaffirmation of our dynamic.
For me, it is a treat because I love to have my mouth between Her legs. I love everything about cunnilingus. I love Her scent. I love Her wetness. I love the feeling of Her against my lips and tongue. I love that I can give Her pleasure as long as She wants me to do so. Cleaning Her after our love-making is a special treat, because I can taste the mingling flavors of our bodies, of our love. I must admit, I often hope She will keep me down there until She orgasms…but that’s pretty much true at any moment of the day.
I do it because She enjoys it. I’m not privy to Her thoughts on the matter, and it really doesn’t matter, ultimately. She likes it; so I do it. That’s the way things are between us.
There are times, however, when Mistress grants me an orgasm and I am not inside of Her. The mess is either on my hands and belly, or on my belly and her hands, or sometimes on Her leg (I am a bit of a leg hound…like, a LOT). To some extent, the same thing about not breaking the moment we are sharing holds true. It’s just a privilege to be allowed to clean up and still maintain intimate contact.
There is an aspect to it in this example that is not present in the previous one, and it is especially true when the mess is limited to my body. For a man to eat his own cum, or to be fed it on the fingers of a woman, is taboo for Western Civilization (there are some societies where it isn’t a big deal for a man to eat cum, and some where it is considered the only manly thing to do). There is the feeling that I am, in my own words, a “filthy little slut.” This is not a bad thing for me, and I think Mistress enjoys that fact.
When I am being a filthy little slut, I am showing Her that I have given up all pride and status for Her, and for Her, alone. It would be wrong to say that I don’t care that I am breaking a taboo, or that I am violating the standard definition of what is masculine or manly. I do care. It is precisely the fact that those ideas exist that allow it to be an act of submission, and since my submission comes from my intense love for Her, it becomes an act of love. It would not be precisely correct, however, to say that I am overcome with love when She is feeding me cum, or when I lick it off my fingers. The love is there, but the reason I like it is that I feel dirty and slutty. I feel wanton in the deepest form of sexuality possible.
It is a deeply satisfying and affirming action for me. I get to relieve a potential problem, enhance and prolong the intimate moments with Mistress Delila, and find a wonderful head-space of submission all in one simple action. What could possibly be better?